What if? (uncertainty)

So today was my first day back at work and things went ok. She's been a bit fussy, but she survived her first day 'without me'.

So last night, she kept waking up every time we put her down. I was frustrated, and Jeff was up working, so he told me to go to sleep. He ended up staying up with her until 1 am and put her in her swing all night swinging.

This morning we woke up, and he told me she slept in her swing. I tried to hide my frustration, because I knew he did the best he could, but then he told me he was taking the day off because he was exhausted. I was upset. I needed Jeff to help me get out the door this morning! It wasn't what I expected, and I was nervous she slept in her swing. Not what I wanted because I'm constantly afraid she's going to get into a bad habit...what if she ALWAYS has to sleep in her swing? What if she always needs to be rocked to sleep? What if she never falls asleep on her own? I worry about these things all the time and it stresses me out when she has trouble because I start thinking the worst.

I talked to my mom, and some women at work, and basically I've been told you can always retrain her and fix any mistakes. A good quote is from Raising Helen, when the teenage girl yells at her pregnant aunt, "you ruined my life!" and her aunt responds, "well, we'll fix it later!" I have to remember Gwen is too young to be forming bad habits, and if she does, it won't be forever. Everything is right now. The good along with the bad.

Anyway, my first day back at work was very busy, and getting used to pumping was difficult, but the day went well and fast. Jeff and his mom stayed home with Gwen and fed her one bottle and she did ok until her afternoon bottle, when she didn't want to take it. I had a long break, so I came home and nursed her. She was happy, and I managed to make it home early to feed her again. The only problem is I told them to "hold her off" until I got home, and Jeff took it too literal. Jean said she cried for 40 minutes. That's way too long. I told Jean to trust her judgment next time.