And when Penelope was born, all the fears kind of washed away. Having two kids was really not that different than having one, I realize now. Yes, it's much busier and there's not much down time during the day due to conflicting nap schedules, but it's not as scary and NEW as the first.
With Gwen I constantly had a panicky, tense feeling in the background. I dramatized everything she did; if she woke up during the night, I thought, "oh no! This must be the new normal! She'll NEVER sleep through the night again!" If I had to nurse her to sleep, I would think I was forming a bad habit and worry that she'd NEVER fall asleep on her own. In reality I new she would develop these things naturally, but I couldn't see what the future held...and it was scary. (I must add that Gwen was a bit of a difficult baby.)
Fast forward to Penelope, and although I still have that slight panicky feeling hanging around, I'm much more relaxed. The things she does don't bother me like they did with Gwen. If she wakes at 3am, yes, it's still painful, but I don't have heart palpitations over it. I think the difference is since I've been here before, I know what the future will look like, and things will be ok. It also helps that Penelope is a very easy-going, "angel" baby.
Something else I've noticed is that Penelope seems to be growing up much faster than Gwen. The days when Gwen was an infant seemed to drag on forever and I often wondered when she'd start sitting/crawling/talking/etc. The days dragged on, but the weeks flew by. I loved spending time with her, and relished her baby days, and by no means was she delayed in her development, it just SEEMED to take forever!
With Penelope, I really can't believe she's already 6.5 months old. The time really has flown by, and I want it to slow down! I'm enjoying her so much and love watching her. She's pure sweetness and innocence and contentment. She just loves life and goes with the flow (most of the time). She's cuddly and gentle in everything she does. She's already sitting up; but Gwen sat up at 6 months also, so no difference. Why does it FEEL like she's sitting so much sooner than Gwen? Maybe the reason things seem to be going by so fast is the opposite reason I'm more relaxed this time; I've forgotten the details of development...and I get to see it all again. :)
These girls are so different: Gwen has a big belly laugh, Penelope gently coughs out her laughs. Whereas Gwen could scream and cry for an hour or more, Penelope could only last 20 minutes. Gwen enjoyed eating solids; Penelope could care less about food. They're both so different, and the strength of the love I have for them is the same. It's hard to explain, because I love them both equally, but in different ways. Gwen with her spunk and Penelope with her softness. The similarities they share are just as great as their differences; both so tender-hearted, sweet, and beautiful. The world better watch out for these girls; they're going to amaze.
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