52:21 It's never easy!

Oh Gwen, we love you so much.  Thank goodness for that because this week, you've started a whole new slew of behaviors that are a challenge sometimes.  You now scream when we try to change your diaper in the morning.  No idea why...you just scream and kick your legs, and arch your back, like we're torturing you. It doesn't matter if it's mommy or daddy, or if we sing to you or not, or if we had to wake you up (because of work) or if you woke up by yourself...you just scream bloody murder while we change your diaper.  SO fun!

And at night, we now put you to bed 2 or 3 times.  The routine is always the same: bath at 6:00, cuddling in towel, music with massage, pj's, dancing with daddy, and a long nursing session that ends around 7:05, when daddy carries you to bed, and you peacefully lay down and go to sleep...until you wake up 5-10 minutes later, crying until we come get you.  Then you stay awake for the next 30 minutes to 1 hour, no matter what we do.  We rock, we hum, we jiggle, we I nurse, we shush.  You just look up at us the whole time.  You are beautiful to look at, but you won't go to sleep!

I have to admit, these are minor problems.  Things could be much worse.  You could be waking up in the middle of the night (which you did last night at 1:30 am, but quickly went back to sleep), you could have ear infections, you could be fighting mommy while breastfeeding, you could be having any number of issues that I've heard about from other moms...but you are doing just fine.  We love you just the way you are, and we'll continue to rock, shush, and jiggle you to sleep at night, and sing through your screams in the morning. 

I try to look at motherhood through the eyes of a grandmother sometimes.  I try to see what I would want to do different, if all this was behind me.  I think I do this because I know one day I'll look back and miss these moments, and I'll also wish I stopped stressing so much.  Motherhood is supposed to be fun!  And babies are only babies once...it's so fleeting, these moments. I try so hard not to be uptight, and most of the time it works...although I do still write out "instructions" to whoever watches her while I'm at work.  That's normal, right?  I wonder how I'll be with my next child. 

On another note, Gwen had her first swimming pool experience yesterday!  She wasn't sure at first, but after she floated in her "palm tree floatie", she liked it.  Well...as much as a baby really "likes" any thing: she didn't cry or fuss.  AND, we made sticky buns for breakfast yesterday.  So yum!  I consider this a successful Memorial Day weekend!