52:13 Creativity-Cooking

I consider myself a creative person. I used to spend hours drawing, painting, and singing in my room when I was younger. I sometimes feel sad that I'm not as creative as I used to be. I want to be more passionate about something; I want to be driven.

I do this a lot and tend to go through phases; last year, I was trying sewing and crafty things...the year before it was baking (which I still love to do). I've also done horseback riding, reading, writing, home design, and who knows what else. I once thought I should pick one thing and do it passionately, and get exceptionally good at it. But now I've decided I'm not going to limit myself to just one creative passion. I'm going to be creative with whatever I choose. Be it arts, crafts, singing, sports, cooking, baby things (obviously that applies to everything as the backdrop). I'll just be a renaissance girl.

So I've decided I want to be more creative with my dinners. My mom is a great cook, and she enjoys doing it. She makes everything look easy. One day, I want to be able to cook something unique and delicious for my family. I want to do this for my Gwendolyn, too. To show her its important to be creative and passionate. This will be one of my passions: cooking. I'll be talking about my new hobbies on this blog, sine I'm sure we're all getting tired of hearing about Gwen's napping struggles...

So this past week, I made ham and cheese sliders (so good) one night. I made them special for Jeff, thinking he would take one bite and die right in front of me. He didn't. He took a bite, and kept chewing while watching Big Bang. Then took another bite, to which I exclaimed, "don't you love them??" Surprised and scared, the man thought up a great answer, "well, you haven't given me time to process it. I'm still tasting the food!" Hmmm...not impressed. But the sliders were amazing.
I also made rotisserie chicken, Parmesan roasted zucchini, and 'hot' potatoes. Well, with Jeff's help. And the rotisserie chicken was actually store-bought...but we made the side dishes, and they were fabulous!
Thank you, pinterest!
More to come!

52:12 Napping is a Battle

Gwendolyn, my sweet girl, why won't you nap in your crib anymore?
So she will only nap in the car or while nursing. I love to nurse her to sleep, but will she not learn to self soothe? The thing is, she self soothes at night, pretty easily, but during the day, she'll scream her little head off until I go pick her up. I don't want her to cry her life away, but I want her to sleep.

Now some might question, maybe she doesn't need to sleep. Why force it? Maybe she's not tired. I think not...I know babies need sleep, and especially this baby, who after 2 hours of being awake is visibly tired. I think my mother-in-law thinks if she's crying at nap time, maybe she's not tired. But Gwen has always cried at nap time. The difference is now she's older, and getting harder to soothe and she won't fall asleep as easy.

So what to do? Do I just keep soothing her in the car and while nursing, and Jean will come with her own routine, and when she gets older try putting her down (when we can reason with her)?That's what I'd like to do.

Or do I sleep train like the book says, and let her cry for hours in her crib? She's such a sweet girl, I don't think she deserves to cry. I guess we'll just keep up with this modified 'attachment' thing we have going. It seems to be working ok. :)

I have to remember that eventually all this will be different, and I'll never have this back.

52:11 Rolling Rolling

Gwen can now roll from her back to her belly! Yay! At 5 1/2 months, she's doing it consistently! I was a little upset she wasn't doing it because some babies roll over at 4 months, and she wasn't even close! But now she's doing it! Next is sitting up! When she's able to sit up independently, we'll install her new giant carseat in the truck. So excited! I think she's going to love it! :) (PS: it's pink! I had to do it!)

52:10 Learning to Let Go (a little)

Giving your baby to a complete stranger to take care of for the day is not a natural thing to do. I love the nanny we've found; she's professional, caring, energetic, and creative. I have no reason to not trust her...other than the fact that she's a complete stranger. We did background checks and everything, and interviews, and we were so excited we found her. But when the moment comes to drop Gwen off, I get irrational thoughts... What if something horrible happens? I'm not there, and Gwen can't tell me what happens! It's a very uneasy feeling.
Even though a few small things have happened that I'm not happy about (typical things like losing a bottle, wasted breast milk, missed naps, which I know would happen anywhere!), they are not big deals. I need to keep in mind all the good things that happen too (Gwen is always clean and happy when I pick her up, and she usually has a craft made by Gwen!). Also, the nanny always aeems to be honest and tells me everything that happened during the day. And I need to learn to let go a bit and trust in our decision. Being a first time mom, it's hard to do that. I know I also need to protect her and advocate for her, but I need to do it calmly (without making myself a wreck). It'll be better for me and better for Gwen.

52:9 Gwen, Happy 5 months, sweet girl!

Yesterday, March 8, 2012 was your 5 month birthday. You are so adorable and we love you too much!
You are 19 lbs and 25 inches long (big for your age)
You are able to roll from your belly to back easily!
You can roll from your back to your side (especially when your hungry!)
You smile at us and you are very happy.
You seem to recognize your name.
You now can rub your eyes when you're tired, and hold your bottle.
You are getting very good at grabbing and pulling things that are within your reach.
You are getting good at handling things and passing them from hand to hand.
Sometimes when you smile while someone is holding you, you bury your adorable face into their shoulder.
You want to take a bite of anything and everything.
You've started to cry during bath time.
You sleep from 7:00pm to 7:00am.
You are getting better at taking naps, sometimes taking a longer nap.
You don't like getting in your carseat very much.
You like to be held and rocked to sleep for nap time in the bathroom with the vent on while we hum lullabies.
Music and singing helps calm you now.