Gwen is 18 months!

On April 8, 2013, Gwen turned 18 months! My baby is a year and a half and I love her so much!
At 18 months, you are now about 30 lbs, and wearing 2T clothes.

Our daily schedule looks like this:
7:00 You wake up, mommy comes and talks to you in your crib for a few minutes, trying to convince you to let me change your diaper.
7:30 We come downstairs and you fuss until mommy gets your milk and banana. We eat on the couch. Playtime.
8:00 Breakfast
8:20 Playtime
9:00 Mommy gets ready in the bathroom while you play with my jewelry, hair gel, make up, your babies, and books
9:30 We go upstairs to get you changed, hair, tooth brushing and face washed. We read a few books in your room.
10:30- Nap time (or if its a work day for mommy, this is when you go to school)
11:30 Lunch
12:15 We go out to play somewhere. A playground, library, mall, etc.
3:00 Short nap (you are still in transition to one nap)
4:00 Wake up and play in play room for a bit.
4:30/5:00 Go play outside until hungry
5:30/45 Dinner and daddy comes home
6:00 Some playtime and or Barney
6:30 Upstairs for bath and get ready for bed

My special little sweetheart, you're personality is growing! You are so sweet; you love to help mommy throw things in the trash and make the bed. You try to follow directions as much as possible.

You love to play and dance. Closing the door and locking mommy out of the bathroom is hilarious.

You are terrified of bugs.

You are officially off bottles! Thanks to grandma's urging.

You love sign language and get frustrated when you can't sign for something. You use "more, milk, all done, mom, dad, book". You also pat your diaper when it's dirty.

You say words: "dada, Dow (dog), baby, moo, quack, nana (banana), ki (kitty), dow (down), coh (close), bowbow (ball), baba (cracker), juju (juice), doo (door) bobo..." You repeat yourself a lot. You call me "baby".

You cry when daddy comes home and kisses you even though you talk about him all day.

At night time you will blow kisses and wave to daddy as he leaves the room. After he's gone, you lay your head on my shoulder and still wave your hand behind you.

You LOVE your babies and have started sleeping with them. You also love balls.

Around 17 months, you had a few weeks when you didn't cry at all, but now you're fussy again and chewing your fingers a lot. Maybe 2-year molars are coming early? You've had 2 ear infections that we know of, in the last 6 months.

You love to go outside and will sometimes start walking to the park down the street by yourself when we get home.

We love you so much!! I hope this new baby doesn't change you! You're also starting a new daycare soon and I'm worried about that!

On another note, this new baby's c-section is scheduled for 6/21/13! Names as options are Penelope, Lainey, Lyla, and (new one) Cecilia ("Cece"). We are not even close to ready for her to come!

Happy New Year 2013!

Ok, so I guess now is as good a time any to announce on the Internet that we're expecting in Mid-June. Most of the people who read this blog will not be surprised. In fact ALL of you people won't be surprised...it just had to be said since I'm going to start chronicling my journey here.

First, my new years resolutions:
1. To live in each moment. Be present and appreciate everything that's happening around me.
2. To write down each day 3 things I'm grateful for in my life. There's an app! U
3. To be physically and mentally stronger.
4. To be more proactive in the evenings (instead of watching tv). Get stuff done. And be creative.
5. Create...whatever it is- food, a sewing item, photos, an art project from pinterest, paint something!

Well, and I realize the last few will be hard once this new baby arrives, but let's just see how things go. I read that you tend to follow through on things if you write them down, so I'm trying it.

So Gwen is now starting at a daycare tomorrow at 15 months old. I'm nervous, but I think it'll be ok. She's so sweet. She understands so much now. Today I asked her if I could change her diaper and if she could get me one and she brought it over to me. I then asked her if she could lay down and she tried to! She's so adorable. She also sits on her bottom and gets anything we ask for. She can say "woof" and "vroom". She answers most "what does a --- say?" questions with one if those sounds. We started brushing her teeth today, and she now drinks mostly from a sippy (with one bottle in the morning and one at night). She has recently bonded with daddy and loves him very much and will go to him without complaining. Sometimes she will run to one of us with her arms out and her mouth wide open and falls into our laps... Her version of a hug. And an open mouth lick is her version of a kiss. She will dance and spin. She loves Bobo and Panda Bear and baby dolls. She scrunches her face when she smiles. She gives high fives cautiously. She loves to read books in your lap forever!

As for this pregnancy, its been...ok. I've had some pretty bad nausea and a few stomach viruses so far, so I've actually lost a few pounds my first trimester. Trying not to worry about that. I'm 15 weeks tomorrow, and at our 12 week appointment, when we had the NT test, that there is an 80% chance that it's a girl. It's called "the angle of the dangle" and if the nub is straight its a girl, and if it's angled up 30 degrees it's a boy. And our little nub was straight!! Poor Jeff! ;) But we won't know for sure until February 5th (my 32nd birthday)!
:) Hope to update again soon!

52:39 & 40: Happy 1st Birthday, Gwen!!

So you made it to a year!! Your patents have successfully raised you, and kept you alive, for a FULL year! I am amazed at the things you can do! I also really feel like you were JUST born! I remember every detail of your birthday so clearly. It was the best day of our lives.
So Gwen, at 12 months:
You weigh 24 lbs, and you're in 18 month clothes.

You took 5 steps today walking toward mommy, all on your own!

You are still a mommys girl.

You're down to two nursings a day, first thing in the morning, and just before bedtime. It's been a surprisingly easy transition for both of us. Although you hate when I try to feed you milk from a sippy cup.

You know where your toes are, you clap, dance, and shake.

You've started pointing at pictures in books.

You are teething all. The. Time. You have your first bottom molar and are working on another.

You are a great sleeper!

You're still nursing right before bed and first thing in the morning.

We love you so much!

52:38 Loss of Motivation

Learn more about my project 52 here and check out styleberry BLOG for links to more Project 52s.

So ever since I moved to Dallas, I've lost my motivation to write. I feel like I've been busy, but at the same time, not.  Taking care of Gwen takes all my time, and then when she naps, I lay on the couch and relax, either watching TV or reading emails and blogs on my phone. Then after her morning nap, I usually take her out to a play date.  I've been forcing myself to go meet new people and it's been fun, but it's also exhausting...always trying to be my "best self"; asking all kinds of questions, talking about myself (ew), and being energetic and happy.  I'm still adjusting to my new place, and my house doesn't feel completely like home yet.  It's funny because I dread going to these play dates, but then once I'm there, I'm so happy to be out of the house.  Then when it's time to go home, I am happy to go home, but then when I walk in the door, I want to leave again.  My best coping strategy to stress or sadness has always been to stay busy, and it's working, but the stress comes and goes.  It's just going to take time.

So writing- I need to keep writing and being creative. I know this will help me with my stress, too. I read something the other day about a study that stated that creative people live longer than non-creative types. It was something about exercising your brain, and keeping your mental muscle strong.  I guess my motivation to be creative isn't to live longer (which is good reason enough), but rather to just open my mind and challenge myself to THINK.  I'm sick of being in a fog, and watching TV, and just being tired all the time.  I'm vowing to "keep myself busy" and to write more, and to be creative...in writing, in Gwen's activities, and in everything. Gwen's first birthday party is coming up, and I'm excited to do stuff and make things!

It's so crazy my baby girl is going to be 1 year old!  She was just born yesterday! I've been reading and seeing all these other babies that started walking around 10 months, but I really don't think she's close.  They say some babies don't start walking until about 15 or 16 months, so I'm really not worried.  The thing I'm a little worried about is her speech- she's not imitating speech sounds, and I'm just a tiny bit nervous about that. I've been talking to her nonstop while she's awake (because of another article I read that said the more you talk to your child, the smarter preschooler they are- 2100 words an hour is the target- another exhausting task...I know, I'm making myself crazy, but I can't help it), and I've been making /b/ and /p/ sounds, but nothing.  She only wants to use /t,d,s,z/.  Oh, and she likes to just yell vowels.  She's also not doing a lot of variegated babbling, but mostly same-sound babbling.  I know she'll get there, but being a speech therapist, I'm super-sensitive about this stuff.

So that's another thing- I "started" a speech pathologist job on September 20th, but have yet to see any clients.  I have no caseload.I'm getting more and more worried about that, too because I'm not working just for fun- we kind of need the income. We are safe for the time being, but I'm giving it 3 months, and then I'll have to look for another position.  If I don't have at least 5 clients by December, I'll have to give it up.  I'm considering a school job, since its salary and consistent, and I know I'll definitely have a caseload.

So good news is that we're going to San Antonio...TOMORROW night!  We're going to experiment and try to drive through the night while Gwen sleeps. It'll be an adventure, for sure, and I'm excited to see how she does.  She's a little better at regulating her moods, and I know she'll cry, but she's easier to soothe now, and I'm not freaking out about her sleeping habits too much anymore (thank the Lord!).  She's been consistently taking a 1 hour and 15 min nap in the morning, and a 45 min nap in the afternoon.  Then she easily goes to sleep at 7 pm and wakes up anytime between 6 and 7am.  I'm happy with this schedule. I'm sure it'll change now that I've put it in writing.

As I type, she's waking up from her morning nap.  Gotta go to a play date at a park with a bunch of moms I don't know...wish me luck!

51:36 & 37 11 MONTHS OLD?

Gwen, HOW can you be 11 months old? It's baffling to me!
On September 8, 2012:
You weigh about 23 lbs and wear 12-18 month clothes.

You can stand, cruise, crawl fast, and walk while holding hands. Still pretty unsteady on your feet.

You love eating, and prefer home cooked finger foods to pre-packaged meals. You love chicken, avocado, cheese, turkey, and yogurt!

You started to give momma hugs and kisses, and you always hug and kiss your doll.

You love to hand things to us and smile brightly like you found the coolest thing on the planet and you're giving it to us (we always give it back to you)!

You continue to HATE diaper changes.

You love dancing with Daddy at bedtime now.

Mommy started weaning you, and you are down to 3 feedings a day. So far it's been a pleasant transition!

You understand some words like tut-toes, baby, and "can I have it?". I swear you say "mah" for more when you're eating sometimes.

You are so beautiful and are getting so much more social!

52:35 Teething and Job stuff

So I just found out today from my sister that my nephew is getting his 5 year molars in. Jeff remembered him bring uncomfortable in RI last time we all went. Great. Gwen is teething, and I thought I had until 2 years old, and then the misery would end. I liked that endpoint...I could see it, and I could handle it. But 5?!? I can't wait that long! I'm officially quitting. No more teething allowed. Im done with this whole mother thing.

Ok, kidding. But 5 years of my child being in pain? Yuck. I'm grateful to my sister for supplying me with this new endpoint.

So I am starting a new job at a clinic on September 20. It's a small clinic with a PT, OT, and an after school SLP. I'll be there Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm really excited because they just opened in January and the owner seems really enthusiastic and smart. I love the idea that I'll be helping build this business. She already asked me for suggestions and ideas, and really wants her employees to have everything they need. I'm nervous because I want to impress, but I'm mostly excited. Hopefully I can build my caseload quickly.
That's all for today!

52:33 & 34 The move to Dallas

So we moved to Dallas on August 15, 2012. I haven't been able to blog lately because of obvious reasons...moving, unpacking, painting, trying to find a job, nanny, and mommy groups. It's been a busy busy time. Plus I have a baby, too. So that makes it much less stressful...yes.

My lovely mom is here visiting now, and I'm so happy she came. Her positive outlook on our new area is starting to rub off on me. I've had a bit of anxiety since we've moved, and went to a doctor to figure things out. After talking it out with my mom, I've decided to try some exercise and "mind over matter" tricks. I pray that I'll be strong enough to pull myself out of this...I know I'll be ok.

I went exercising today, and I already feel mentally stronger. I do believe I'm having some remnant post pardom hormone-y stuff going on, and that must be the reason for this anxiety. Obviously I have a lot of stressors in my life right now, but if I got over pdd before, I can do it again, I plan on joining Stroller Strides and going a few times a week- a good way to meet new mommies, too.

So I've already found a night babysitter for when Jeff and I want a night out. She's young, calm, sweet and smart! Perfect. "Check!" (You know why that's in quotes, right?)

I'm interviewing a daytime nanny tomorrow for Tuesdays and Thursdays. Hopefully it goes well.

I love making decisions when my mom is with me. Having her reassurance makes me so much more confident in my choices. :) Love you mom!

Oh, and we brought Gwen to the Dallas World Aquarium! So fun! She loved watching all the colorful fish! I also made sweet potato fries, rosemary chicken burgers, catfish with quinoa salad, and tonight we're having cheesy broccoli baked potatoes! I might have had some help making these...