52:38 Loss of Motivation

Learn more about my project 52 here and check out styleberry BLOG for links to more Project 52s.

So ever since I moved to Dallas, I've lost my motivation to write. I feel like I've been busy, but at the same time, not.  Taking care of Gwen takes all my time, and then when she naps, I lay on the couch and relax, either watching TV or reading emails and blogs on my phone. Then after her morning nap, I usually take her out to a play date.  I've been forcing myself to go meet new people and it's been fun, but it's also exhausting...always trying to be my "best self"; asking all kinds of questions, talking about myself (ew), and being energetic and happy.  I'm still adjusting to my new place, and my house doesn't feel completely like home yet.  It's funny because I dread going to these play dates, but then once I'm there, I'm so happy to be out of the house.  Then when it's time to go home, I am happy to go home, but then when I walk in the door, I want to leave again.  My best coping strategy to stress or sadness has always been to stay busy, and it's working, but the stress comes and goes.  It's just going to take time.

So writing- I need to keep writing and being creative. I know this will help me with my stress, too. I read something the other day about a study that stated that creative people live longer than non-creative types. It was something about exercising your brain, and keeping your mental muscle strong.  I guess my motivation to be creative isn't to live longer (which is good reason enough), but rather to just open my mind and challenge myself to THINK.  I'm sick of being in a fog, and watching TV, and just being tired all the time.  I'm vowing to "keep myself busy" and to write more, and to be creative...in writing, in Gwen's activities, and in everything. Gwen's first birthday party is coming up, and I'm excited to do stuff and make things!

It's so crazy my baby girl is going to be 1 year old!  She was just born yesterday! I've been reading and seeing all these other babies that started walking around 10 months, but I really don't think she's close.  They say some babies don't start walking until about 15 or 16 months, so I'm really not worried.  The thing I'm a little worried about is her speech- she's not imitating speech sounds, and I'm just a tiny bit nervous about that. I've been talking to her nonstop while she's awake (because of another article I read that said the more you talk to your child, the smarter preschooler they are- 2100 words an hour is the target- another exhausting task...I know, I'm making myself crazy, but I can't help it), and I've been making /b/ and /p/ sounds, but nothing.  She only wants to use /t,d,s,z/.  Oh, and she likes to just yell vowels.  She's also not doing a lot of variegated babbling, but mostly same-sound babbling.  I know she'll get there, but being a speech therapist, I'm super-sensitive about this stuff.

So that's another thing- I "started" a speech pathologist job on September 20th, but have yet to see any clients.  I have no caseload.I'm getting more and more worried about that, too because I'm not working just for fun- we kind of need the income. We are safe for the time being, but I'm giving it 3 months, and then I'll have to look for another position.  If I don't have at least 5 clients by December, I'll have to give it up.  I'm considering a school job, since its salary and consistent, and I know I'll definitely have a caseload.

So good news is that we're going to San Antonio...TOMORROW night!  We're going to experiment and try to drive through the night while Gwen sleeps. It'll be an adventure, for sure, and I'm excited to see how she does.  She's a little better at regulating her moods, and I know she'll cry, but she's easier to soothe now, and I'm not freaking out about her sleeping habits too much anymore (thank the Lord!).  She's been consistently taking a 1 hour and 15 min nap in the morning, and a 45 min nap in the afternoon.  Then she easily goes to sleep at 7 pm and wakes up anytime between 6 and 7am.  I'm happy with this schedule. I'm sure it'll change now that I've put it in writing.

As I type, she's waking up from her morning nap.  Gotta go to a play date at a park with a bunch of moms I don't know...wish me luck!

51:36 & 37 11 MONTHS OLD?

Gwen, HOW can you be 11 months old? It's baffling to me!
On September 8, 2012:
You weigh about 23 lbs and wear 12-18 month clothes.

You can stand, cruise, crawl fast, and walk while holding hands. Still pretty unsteady on your feet.

You love eating, and prefer home cooked finger foods to pre-packaged meals. You love chicken, avocado, cheese, turkey, and yogurt!

You started to give momma hugs and kisses, and you always hug and kiss your doll.

You love to hand things to us and smile brightly like you found the coolest thing on the planet and you're giving it to us (we always give it back to you)!

You continue to HATE diaper changes.

You love dancing with Daddy at bedtime now.

Mommy started weaning you, and you are down to 3 feedings a day. So far it's been a pleasant transition!

You understand some words like tut-toes, baby, and "can I have it?". I swear you say "mah" for more when you're eating sometimes.

You are so beautiful and are getting so much more social!

52:35 Teething and Job stuff

So I just found out today from my sister that my nephew is getting his 5 year molars in. Jeff remembered him bring uncomfortable in RI last time we all went. Great. Gwen is teething, and I thought I had until 2 years old, and then the misery would end. I liked that endpoint...I could see it, and I could handle it. But 5?!? I can't wait that long! I'm officially quitting. No more teething allowed. Im done with this whole mother thing.

Ok, kidding. But 5 years of my child being in pain? Yuck. I'm grateful to my sister for supplying me with this new endpoint.

So I am starting a new job at a clinic on September 20. It's a small clinic with a PT, OT, and an after school SLP. I'll be there Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm really excited because they just opened in January and the owner seems really enthusiastic and smart. I love the idea that I'll be helping build this business. She already asked me for suggestions and ideas, and really wants her employees to have everything they need. I'm nervous because I want to impress, but I'm mostly excited. Hopefully I can build my caseload quickly.
That's all for today!