52:26 Vacation to RI

Gwen is about 8.5 months old and we flew to RI. The flight was hard- she fussed quite a bit, but she also napped while nursing and I think she did just fine for a baby her age. Jeff and I were exhausted from waking up at 3:30 (the flight was a 6 am-er), and wrestling with her on the plane, trying to keep her entertained, but we made it. Everyone around us was super nice and understanding.

Last night, the first night in RI, was a huge success. I tried to keep her on TX time and put her down at 8:30 instead of 7:30, and that worked well. I thought for sure she would wake multiple times in the night, but she slept the whole way through! What a (nice) surprise for mommy and daddy!

Then this morning she was extra fussy and very clingy to me (which I secretly love- the mommy phase is the best!) I thought for sure she would need to be nursed for naps the whole vacation. I put her down for her morning nap crying, just to see if she could get used to the idea of napping in the pack n' play. She fell asleep in 10 minutes!! She slept for a quick 30 minutes, but then her afternoon nap was even better. Cried for 5 seconds and then slept for 1 hour, 10 min (which is a very nice, long nap for her)!

I'm amazed at how smart she is! I never expected her to fall asleep on her own in a different place. I thought for sure she would work herself up and not be able to nap, like she did in Dallas a few weeks ago. But no, she's learned the routine, and nap means nap. I'm very proud of her. :)

Stay tuned for how the peanut does with her first time at the beach!

52:25 This Week Flew By!

Learn more about my project 52 here and check out styleberry BLOG for links to more Project 52s.

So Gwen is crawling, we all know that already, but now she's crawling FAST! I tried cleaning out the pantry today and every time I turned around she was somewhere else getting into something else she wasn't supposed to; oh, not the cord! oh oops, the broom! Wait, don't touch the fly swatter! Oh shoot, she fell over that box. Gwen, leave that grocery bag! Crap, I have to remember to hide the broom! Not the cord again!

I think it took me 8 hours...

But she's fun. Physically exhausting, but the most fun ever. I write so much on this blog about my concerns and how I wonder if things are going 'right'. But I also need to mention how amazing motherhood is, even when it's stressful. I try to remind myself every day that these times are fleeting, and someday she'll be grown up, and I'll miss having my baby cry for me when I take 3 steps away...and cuddling with her at bedtime and nursing her to sleep (like right now). No matter how much I want to slow time down though, time is time. It doesn't go fast or slow. But the saying 'time flies when you're having fun' is so true! Gwen, we have to stop having so much fun! ;) Well that'll never happen.

So we're listing the house next week before we leave for RI. This weekend will be full of yard work and fence painting for Jeff and organizing for me. The stager came by and made a long list of things for us to organize. Can't wait until we're done with all this.

52:24 Our Trip to Dallas

So this weekend we all drove to Dallas to visit Jeff's brother and family, and check out some areas since we may be moving up there soon. Jeff's company us relocating up there... We drove up on Friday morning and are coming back now, on Sunday.

I was so nervous Gwen was going to sleep terrible, keep us all up, and be miserable during the day; I was preparing myself for the worst. But everything was fine. The drives up and back were great, with naps and feedings timing out perfectly. She still doesn't eat many solids, so that helped a bit.

We got there, and things were good. She got tired out while playing with her cousins, Grace and Hazel, and we stuck to our bedtime routine: bath, pjs, music, nursing. She went to sleep around 7, and everything seemed fine until midnight. She woke up crying loud. I ended up having to nurse her for the rest of the night. She wouldn't fall asleep for 2 hours! Not sure why, but thinking it had to do with teething and the new surroundings. It'll be much easier when she can tell us what the heck is bothering her!

The next day was great! She spent the day with Nana, who had driven up with us. She took a nap on a walk in the stroller, and played with cousins. Jeff and I drove around some areas, trying to get a feel for the neighborhoods, since we might he moving up there soon. We got home in time for her next nap, when I nursed her to sleep. Then we, the adults, had Mai tais, and played in the pool with the kids.

The second night went awesome! She went down easily and slept the entire night! Totally beat!

Got home and now I'm nursing yet to sleep for the night. The trip was a success and I'm do happy things went well!

Happy 1st Father's Day, to my amazing husband! (He got a massage for his gift from Gwen)

52:23 Gwen is 8 months old today!

Learn more about my project 52 here and check out styleberry BLOG for links to more Project 52s.

Gwendolyn Mary, 6/8/2012 is your 8-month birthday!  I can't believe it's been 8 months since I saw your little face held up above the blue curtain in front of me in the OR...I remember being pregnant and worried that I wouldn't "connect" with you right away...so silly...I'll never forget that instant love I felt when I first saw you! There's nothing like it.

You weigh about 22 lbs, and still wearing 12-18-month clothes mostly...although you do fit into 24 month clothes, too! My healthy little meatball. 

You just started crawling well a few days ago, and you're now realizing you can explore! (you crawled into mommy and daddy's closet yesterday and had a good time playing with our shoes and making a big mess!) I need to upload video of your first time crawling.

You can pull up to kneeling, and just started pulling up to a stand yesterday in your crib, and now you want to pull up on everything! (Scary when it's a flimsy chair or stool that could topple on you)  You can also sit yourself up and sitting on your own very easily.
You now take two naps instead of three, each lasting about 1-1.5 hours (sometimes it's still 45 minutes, but those are getting fewer and fewer), and you usually go down easily without crying (for daddy, it's a different story). You continue to consistently sleep 12 hours at night (7pm-7am)!
You have a new favorite toy- Bobo- a stuffed white and grey dog, who goes with you to take naps every day. 
You still love bathtime, and have started to like stroller rides again.

You eat everything (although green beans gave you tummy problems)- you seem to love turkey with sweet potato and you LOVE bananas, apple-pear-banana mix, and plain yogurt!
You're in a "mommy phase" right now, where you want me close by at all times.  You have started to cry when I leave you with Nana (which I know is rubbish because you love Nana). Yesterday morning as I left you panicked and started crying as you crawled toward me...heartbreaking, but SO adorable.

You love making raspberries with your mouth, especially when you're being fed...I laugh out loud when you blow into your food and it goes all over your face, and you look so surprised every time.

You babble quite a bit, and sometimes say "mommom".  It melts my heart. 

We love you so much!  Every day is more fun because of you!

52: 22 A Morning In the Life of Gwen

Learn more about my project 52 here and check out styleberry BLOG for links to more Project 52s.
Hello, good morning to me! Waking up to the sound of your baby pooping is hilarious. Gwen has a bit of diarrhea, so this is how it sounded: gurgle gurgle, squirt...long pause...SQUIRT...splash, gurgle. Then she woke up...
Good morning slimey diaper! We're is everybody? I'm still tired...wiggle wiggle my bottom.

Hello, mama! Stop taking pictures and pick me up! Never put me down!

Hello, diaper changing place! I'm going to SCREAM AND SCREAM! I hate diaper changes in the morning!!

Hello mama and dada's bed...mmm... I love nursing with mama.

Hello bathroom! I like playing with these bottles that I shake shake shake until mama is done washing her face! Oooooh! Now mama has that buzzing thing in her mouth (toothbrush)! What's that all about? I don't know, but I want one really bad!

Hello, big room with large black rectangle! I love to watch that thing, but mama always turns it off!

Hello my fun play gym! I love the music and my toys!

Hello mama! Never stop holding me!

Hello, my other fun play gym!  I like this one because I get to stand, but I get tired fast.

Hello beautiful backyard! I love going outside!

Hello, Bobo, my soft doggie. You're my favorite. This means it's time for nap.

Hello, diaper changing table again.

Hello, Bedtime Peekaboo book. I like to see all the babies in this book.

Hold me mama, and hum to me. I like the lullaby song. It relaxes me, and I put my head on your shoulder. I still like the bathroom vent too. And I love you.

Hello crib. I don't mind being put down in here anymore. I know it's sleepy time.
:)

52:21 It's never easy!

Oh Gwen, we love you so much.  Thank goodness for that because this week, you've started a whole new slew of behaviors that are a challenge sometimes.  You now scream when we try to change your diaper in the morning.  No idea why...you just scream and kick your legs, and arch your back, like we're torturing you. It doesn't matter if it's mommy or daddy, or if we sing to you or not, or if we had to wake you up (because of work) or if you woke up by yourself...you just scream bloody murder while we change your diaper.  SO fun!

And at night, we now put you to bed 2 or 3 times.  The routine is always the same: bath at 6:00, cuddling in towel, music with massage, pj's, dancing with daddy, and a long nursing session that ends around 7:05, when daddy carries you to bed, and you peacefully lay down and go to sleep...until you wake up 5-10 minutes later, crying until we come get you.  Then you stay awake for the next 30 minutes to 1 hour, no matter what we do.  We rock, we hum, we jiggle, we I nurse, we shush.  You just look up at us the whole time.  You are beautiful to look at, but you won't go to sleep!

I have to admit, these are minor problems.  Things could be much worse.  You could be waking up in the middle of the night (which you did last night at 1:30 am, but quickly went back to sleep), you could have ear infections, you could be fighting mommy while breastfeeding, you could be having any number of issues that I've heard about from other moms...but you are doing just fine.  We love you just the way you are, and we'll continue to rock, shush, and jiggle you to sleep at night, and sing through your screams in the morning. 

I try to look at motherhood through the eyes of a grandmother sometimes.  I try to see what I would want to do different, if all this was behind me.  I think I do this because I know one day I'll look back and miss these moments, and I'll also wish I stopped stressing so much.  Motherhood is supposed to be fun!  And babies are only babies once...it's so fleeting, these moments. I try so hard not to be uptight, and most of the time it works...although I do still write out "instructions" to whoever watches her while I'm at work.  That's normal, right?  I wonder how I'll be with my next child. 

On another note, Gwen had her first swimming pool experience yesterday!  She wasn't sure at first, but after she floated in her "palm tree floatie", she liked it.  Well...as much as a baby really "likes" any thing: she didn't cry or fuss.  AND, we made sticky buns for breakfast yesterday.  So yum!  I consider this a successful Memorial Day weekend!

52:20 Cry it Out for naps...

So I caved. My mom came to visit last week, and she casually mentioned on one of our back road drives so Gwen could nap, that usually babies sleep in their cribs. I argued and explained that Gwen required a lengthy soothing period of holding, shhhhhing, and walking so she would fall asleep in your arms. And many times, she would wake up and scream as soon as you put her down. It was time consuming and exhausting. My back was killing me and my wrists were developing carpal tunnel.

One night after I put Gwen to sleep, she was crying. My mom suggested I let her settle herself down, and I argued. This was not normal for her to be crying. At night, she usually now goes down easily, falling asleep in her crib with no crying. I went in and held her until she fell asleep in my arms. Holding her and watching her sleep melts my heart.

Then on Sunday, my first Mothers day, after my mom had left, I decided to try 'check and console' for naps. It was horrible. She cried even harder when I would go to "console" her. She cried for 10 minutes each nap and I would go get her to nurse her to sleep.

I realized that day that Gwen had to learn to sleep in her crib. Being tied to her for naps while she nursed, holding her for 20 minutes, and going for car rides suddenly appeared crazy and unnatural. Plus it was getting harder to get her to fall asleep, and a babysitter might have to put her down one day. I decided on Monday we would try cry it out for naps...

The book Happy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child explained that full "extinction" was more effective than "check and console" and it produced less crying overall. I wanted my baby girl to learn desperately to fall asleep in her crib, and I knew she sometimes would scream in her carseat, and the next day she would be fine. She was smart. She learned that crying in her carseat caused no results- she could learn the same for her crib.

So the first day was hard. She cried for a full hour in her crib, and I went and got her. Then for her second nap, 20 minutes, and fell asleep!! I stayed in my room, with the door closed- reading, trying to distract myself.

We did sleep training for 3 days. It. was. hard. Listening to her cry made my body go into overdrive. I sweated, I cried, I shook inside. It overtook me. Her little voice sounded desperate and hurt. She needed me. I called my mom and friends and yelled, "why won't she stop crying?!?!" I tried to remind myself she was just protesting, and was not hurt. If she was playing with knives and I took them away and she cried, would I give them back to her? No. This was me helping her learn to fall asleep on her own.

It started getting better, when on Wednesday, she only cried for 10 minutes for both naps and then fell asleep. Until Thursday....oh Thursday. I went to work, but Jeff stayed home with her that day because his mom was sick. God must have known I couldn't have survived this. She cried for 60 minutes, 55 minutes, and 20. A huge set back. My willpower took a dive...this isn't working, I thought. I said I'd give her 2 weeks, but really? I was hoping it would be better after 3 days. I thought extinction was supposed to be effective!

Then on Friday, a miracle happened. I put her down for her morning nap (full of anxiety), and she cried for 30 seconds...and...fell asleep?!?! Second nap was even better- 5 seconds of crying and talked until she fell asleep.
I'm amazed. I knew it would work, but I had no idea it would go from 60 minutes to 30 seconds! I can't say I'm glad I let her cry it out, because I'm still regretting all the crying it produced. But I'm happy now. I now have some time to myself during the day! Thank you Marc Weisbluth and my mom!!

On another note, Jeff got his promotion, and it was more than we expected! And we made crockpot enchilada soup, and chicken stir fry this week. Very tasty!