52:39 & 40: Happy 1st Birthday, Gwen!!

So you made it to a year!! Your patents have successfully raised you, and kept you alive, for a FULL year! I am amazed at the things you can do! I also really feel like you were JUST born! I remember every detail of your birthday so clearly. It was the best day of our lives.
So Gwen, at 12 months:
You weigh 24 lbs, and you're in 18 month clothes.

You took 5 steps today walking toward mommy, all on your own!

You are still a mommys girl.

You're down to two nursings a day, first thing in the morning, and just before bedtime. It's been a surprisingly easy transition for both of us. Although you hate when I try to feed you milk from a sippy cup.

You know where your toes are, you clap, dance, and shake.

You've started pointing at pictures in books.

You are teething all. The. Time. You have your first bottom molar and are working on another.

You are a great sleeper!

You're still nursing right before bed and first thing in the morning.

We love you so much!

52:38 Loss of Motivation

Learn more about my project 52 here and check out styleberry BLOG for links to more Project 52s.

So ever since I moved to Dallas, I've lost my motivation to write. I feel like I've been busy, but at the same time, not.  Taking care of Gwen takes all my time, and then when she naps, I lay on the couch and relax, either watching TV or reading emails and blogs on my phone. Then after her morning nap, I usually take her out to a play date.  I've been forcing myself to go meet new people and it's been fun, but it's also exhausting...always trying to be my "best self"; asking all kinds of questions, talking about myself (ew), and being energetic and happy.  I'm still adjusting to my new place, and my house doesn't feel completely like home yet.  It's funny because I dread going to these play dates, but then once I'm there, I'm so happy to be out of the house.  Then when it's time to go home, I am happy to go home, but then when I walk in the door, I want to leave again.  My best coping strategy to stress or sadness has always been to stay busy, and it's working, but the stress comes and goes.  It's just going to take time.

So writing- I need to keep writing and being creative. I know this will help me with my stress, too. I read something the other day about a study that stated that creative people live longer than non-creative types. It was something about exercising your brain, and keeping your mental muscle strong.  I guess my motivation to be creative isn't to live longer (which is good reason enough), but rather to just open my mind and challenge myself to THINK.  I'm sick of being in a fog, and watching TV, and just being tired all the time.  I'm vowing to "keep myself busy" and to write more, and to be creative...in writing, in Gwen's activities, and in everything. Gwen's first birthday party is coming up, and I'm excited to do stuff and make things!

It's so crazy my baby girl is going to be 1 year old!  She was just born yesterday! I've been reading and seeing all these other babies that started walking around 10 months, but I really don't think she's close.  They say some babies don't start walking until about 15 or 16 months, so I'm really not worried.  The thing I'm a little worried about is her speech- she's not imitating speech sounds, and I'm just a tiny bit nervous about that. I've been talking to her nonstop while she's awake (because of another article I read that said the more you talk to your child, the smarter preschooler they are- 2100 words an hour is the target- another exhausting task...I know, I'm making myself crazy, but I can't help it), and I've been making /b/ and /p/ sounds, but nothing.  She only wants to use /t,d,s,z/.  Oh, and she likes to just yell vowels.  She's also not doing a lot of variegated babbling, but mostly same-sound babbling.  I know she'll get there, but being a speech therapist, I'm super-sensitive about this stuff.

So that's another thing- I "started" a speech pathologist job on September 20th, but have yet to see any clients.  I have no caseload.I'm getting more and more worried about that, too because I'm not working just for fun- we kind of need the income. We are safe for the time being, but I'm giving it 3 months, and then I'll have to look for another position.  If I don't have at least 5 clients by December, I'll have to give it up.  I'm considering a school job, since its salary and consistent, and I know I'll definitely have a caseload.

So good news is that we're going to San Antonio...TOMORROW night!  We're going to experiment and try to drive through the night while Gwen sleeps. It'll be an adventure, for sure, and I'm excited to see how she does.  She's a little better at regulating her moods, and I know she'll cry, but she's easier to soothe now, and I'm not freaking out about her sleeping habits too much anymore (thank the Lord!).  She's been consistently taking a 1 hour and 15 min nap in the morning, and a 45 min nap in the afternoon.  Then she easily goes to sleep at 7 pm and wakes up anytime between 6 and 7am.  I'm happy with this schedule. I'm sure it'll change now that I've put it in writing.

As I type, she's waking up from her morning nap.  Gotta go to a play date at a park with a bunch of moms I don't know...wish me luck!

51:36 & 37 11 MONTHS OLD?

Gwen, HOW can you be 11 months old? It's baffling to me!
On September 8, 2012:
You weigh about 23 lbs and wear 12-18 month clothes.

You can stand, cruise, crawl fast, and walk while holding hands. Still pretty unsteady on your feet.

You love eating, and prefer home cooked finger foods to pre-packaged meals. You love chicken, avocado, cheese, turkey, and yogurt!

You started to give momma hugs and kisses, and you always hug and kiss your doll.

You love to hand things to us and smile brightly like you found the coolest thing on the planet and you're giving it to us (we always give it back to you)!

You continue to HATE diaper changes.

You love dancing with Daddy at bedtime now.

Mommy started weaning you, and you are down to 3 feedings a day. So far it's been a pleasant transition!

You understand some words like tut-toes, baby, and "can I have it?". I swear you say "mah" for more when you're eating sometimes.

You are so beautiful and are getting so much more social!

52:35 Teething and Job stuff

So I just found out today from my sister that my nephew is getting his 5 year molars in. Jeff remembered him bring uncomfortable in RI last time we all went. Great. Gwen is teething, and I thought I had until 2 years old, and then the misery would end. I liked that endpoint...I could see it, and I could handle it. But 5?!? I can't wait that long! I'm officially quitting. No more teething allowed. Im done with this whole mother thing.

Ok, kidding. But 5 years of my child being in pain? Yuck. I'm grateful to my sister for supplying me with this new endpoint.

So I am starting a new job at a clinic on September 20. It's a small clinic with a PT, OT, and an after school SLP. I'll be there Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm really excited because they just opened in January and the owner seems really enthusiastic and smart. I love the idea that I'll be helping build this business. She already asked me for suggestions and ideas, and really wants her employees to have everything they need. I'm nervous because I want to impress, but I'm mostly excited. Hopefully I can build my caseload quickly.
That's all for today!

52:33 & 34 The move to Dallas

So we moved to Dallas on August 15, 2012. I haven't been able to blog lately because of obvious reasons...moving, unpacking, painting, trying to find a job, nanny, and mommy groups. It's been a busy busy time. Plus I have a baby, too. So that makes it much less stressful...yes.

My lovely mom is here visiting now, and I'm so happy she came. Her positive outlook on our new area is starting to rub off on me. I've had a bit of anxiety since we've moved, and went to a doctor to figure things out. After talking it out with my mom, I've decided to try some exercise and "mind over matter" tricks. I pray that I'll be strong enough to pull myself out of this...I know I'll be ok.

I went exercising today, and I already feel mentally stronger. I do believe I'm having some remnant post pardom hormone-y stuff going on, and that must be the reason for this anxiety. Obviously I have a lot of stressors in my life right now, but if I got over pdd before, I can do it again, I plan on joining Stroller Strides and going a few times a week- a good way to meet new mommies, too.

So I've already found a night babysitter for when Jeff and I want a night out. She's young, calm, sweet and smart! Perfect. "Check!" (You know why that's in quotes, right?)

I'm interviewing a daytime nanny tomorrow for Tuesdays and Thursdays. Hopefully it goes well.

I love making decisions when my mom is with me. Having her reassurance makes me so much more confident in my choices. :) Love you mom!

Oh, and we brought Gwen to the Dallas World Aquarium! So fun! She loved watching all the colorful fish! I also made sweet potato fries, rosemary chicken burgers, catfish with quinoa salad, and tonight we're having cheesy broccoli baked potatoes! I might have had some help making these...

52:32 Gwen is 10 months old!

Learn more about my project 52 here and check out styleberry BLOG for links to more Project 52s.

Gwen, you are now in the double digits!  On 8/8/12, you turned 10 months old!

Baby, at 10 months:
You weigh about 22 lbs and are tall for your age.

You LOVE yogurt, Cheerios, pcookies, puffs, green smoothies, and chicken...pretty much everything besides peas, actually.

You just learned how to feed yourself with your fingers two days ago, and I think it's the cutest thing ever!  You prefer Cheerios over anything on a spoon, and you've had a couples cookies, and nothing can take your attention away from those! It's the best watching you lick your whole hand and wrist trying so hard to put that Cheerio in your mouth!

You look at mommy and laugh when I laugh, like you "get the joke".

You're still breastfeeding about 5x per day, and it's the best way to calm you down if you're upset. 

You have about 5 1/2 teeth (2 on bottom, 3 1/2 on top) and this is starting to conflict with breastfeeding (yes, ouch).

You got your first haircut because the hair on your birthmark was growing faster than the rest, and someone said your "baby mullet" was cute.  It was cut that same day.

You want to eat whatever we're eating; you think you're a big girl.

You wave "bye bye", "hi", and sign "more" constantly while eating.

You have started variegated babbling: poowee, baawaa, beewee, etc.  Today you said in the car "diapo bwait".  Its adorable to hear you talk. 

You are standing a little on your own- about 3 seconds before you lunge forward onto whatever is closest- usually me.

You are taking two naps per day that range anywhere from 30 minutes to 1.5 hours- it's never consistent.

You laugh very easily now, and love it when we swat at bugs, chew on things, crawl around with you, pull things out of your hands, and play peekaboo.  Those things crack you up.

You are scared of big dogs, and I showed you a cat recently, and you freaked out screaming.  This makes mommy sad, since I love cats, and I was hoping you'd be on my side.

You are obsessed with dolls (with hard plastic limbs, not the soft ones), and you carry them all around the house with you!

You are happy and so so so sweet. 

52:31 Smoothies and Giblets

So, if you have been living under a rock and havent heard of 'green smoothies' yet, you might look at the picture here and think, "ew, gross. Is that one of those wheat germ protein shakes?" You would think that if you were living in the 2000's, actually. Well, welcome to the 2010's, friend! The era of the new and improved wheat-germ protein shake- THE GREEN SMOOTHIE. Much much much improved, in fact. If you google green smoothie, a million recipes pop up. But it's funny to me that there are recipes because it's basically fruit and veggies in a blender. Whatever sounds good to you, just dump it in and, boomtastic: you are now on the green smoothie train (just make sure to add something green, of course). ;)

All kidding aside, there's just something about feeding a food so simple and nutritious to your baby that makes me feel like a superhero. And I made it! Like in 20 years, she'll be a genius because she drank spinach as a 9 month old...I know, I'm delusional. Accept it.

So I know you're just dying to know what I put in my smoothie, right? Ok, so I'll tell you- a bag of frozen strawberries, peaches, and bananas (not organic. Whaaaaat?), Greek yogurt, water, a tiny bit of cranberry juice, and half a bag of spinach. It was soooo good. I'm hooked, and I've already daydreamed of making green smoothies everyday for breakfast from now on.

On the hot side, my new soulmate: the crockpot. It's my (other) secret to making dinner...me, who stays home with the baby and manages to get nothing done. Using a crockpot allows me to say to Jeff when he gets home, "I've been cooking all day!" We, wait no, I made ribs last week in the crockpot (who knew?) and they were so good, they fell off the bone trying to take them out. Another thing I've done is cook a whole chicken in it about once a week the past couple weeks. It's so easy, and it comes out awesome. The only problem with the whole chicken idea is the giblets. I just can't get those things...it's too gross, thank you. Jeff can take those out afterwards. Love you, babe!

And Gwen is back to 45 minute naps. So irritating.