52:21 It's never easy!

Oh Gwen, we love you so much.  Thank goodness for that because this week, you've started a whole new slew of behaviors that are a challenge sometimes.  You now scream when we try to change your diaper in the morning.  No idea why...you just scream and kick your legs, and arch your back, like we're torturing you. It doesn't matter if it's mommy or daddy, or if we sing to you or not, or if we had to wake you up (because of work) or if you woke up by yourself...you just scream bloody murder while we change your diaper.  SO fun!

And at night, we now put you to bed 2 or 3 times.  The routine is always the same: bath at 6:00, cuddling in towel, music with massage, pj's, dancing with daddy, and a long nursing session that ends around 7:05, when daddy carries you to bed, and you peacefully lay down and go to sleep...until you wake up 5-10 minutes later, crying until we come get you.  Then you stay awake for the next 30 minutes to 1 hour, no matter what we do.  We rock, we hum, we jiggle, we I nurse, we shush.  You just look up at us the whole time.  You are beautiful to look at, but you won't go to sleep!

I have to admit, these are minor problems.  Things could be much worse.  You could be waking up in the middle of the night (which you did last night at 1:30 am, but quickly went back to sleep), you could have ear infections, you could be fighting mommy while breastfeeding, you could be having any number of issues that I've heard about from other moms...but you are doing just fine.  We love you just the way you are, and we'll continue to rock, shush, and jiggle you to sleep at night, and sing through your screams in the morning. 

I try to look at motherhood through the eyes of a grandmother sometimes.  I try to see what I would want to do different, if all this was behind me.  I think I do this because I know one day I'll look back and miss these moments, and I'll also wish I stopped stressing so much.  Motherhood is supposed to be fun!  And babies are only babies once...it's so fleeting, these moments. I try so hard not to be uptight, and most of the time it works...although I do still write out "instructions" to whoever watches her while I'm at work.  That's normal, right?  I wonder how I'll be with my next child. 

On another note, Gwen had her first swimming pool experience yesterday!  She wasn't sure at first, but after she floated in her "palm tree floatie", she liked it.  Well...as much as a baby really "likes" any thing: she didn't cry or fuss.  AND, we made sticky buns for breakfast yesterday.  So yum!  I consider this a successful Memorial Day weekend!

52:20 Cry it Out for naps...

So I caved. My mom came to visit last week, and she casually mentioned on one of our back road drives so Gwen could nap, that usually babies sleep in their cribs. I argued and explained that Gwen required a lengthy soothing period of holding, shhhhhing, and walking so she would fall asleep in your arms. And many times, she would wake up and scream as soon as you put her down. It was time consuming and exhausting. My back was killing me and my wrists were developing carpal tunnel.

One night after I put Gwen to sleep, she was crying. My mom suggested I let her settle herself down, and I argued. This was not normal for her to be crying. At night, she usually now goes down easily, falling asleep in her crib with no crying. I went in and held her until she fell asleep in my arms. Holding her and watching her sleep melts my heart.

Then on Sunday, my first Mothers day, after my mom had left, I decided to try 'check and console' for naps. It was horrible. She cried even harder when I would go to "console" her. She cried for 10 minutes each nap and I would go get her to nurse her to sleep.

I realized that day that Gwen had to learn to sleep in her crib. Being tied to her for naps while she nursed, holding her for 20 minutes, and going for car rides suddenly appeared crazy and unnatural. Plus it was getting harder to get her to fall asleep, and a babysitter might have to put her down one day. I decided on Monday we would try cry it out for naps...

The book Happy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child explained that full "extinction" was more effective than "check and console" and it produced less crying overall. I wanted my baby girl to learn desperately to fall asleep in her crib, and I knew she sometimes would scream in her carseat, and the next day she would be fine. She was smart. She learned that crying in her carseat caused no results- she could learn the same for her crib.

So the first day was hard. She cried for a full hour in her crib, and I went and got her. Then for her second nap, 20 minutes, and fell asleep!! I stayed in my room, with the door closed- reading, trying to distract myself.

We did sleep training for 3 days. It. was. hard. Listening to her cry made my body go into overdrive. I sweated, I cried, I shook inside. It overtook me. Her little voice sounded desperate and hurt. She needed me. I called my mom and friends and yelled, "why won't she stop crying?!?!" I tried to remind myself she was just protesting, and was not hurt. If she was playing with knives and I took them away and she cried, would I give them back to her? No. This was me helping her learn to fall asleep on her own.

It started getting better, when on Wednesday, she only cried for 10 minutes for both naps and then fell asleep. Until Thursday....oh Thursday. I went to work, but Jeff stayed home with her that day because his mom was sick. God must have known I couldn't have survived this. She cried for 60 minutes, 55 minutes, and 20. A huge set back. My willpower took a dive...this isn't working, I thought. I said I'd give her 2 weeks, but really? I was hoping it would be better after 3 days. I thought extinction was supposed to be effective!

Then on Friday, a miracle happened. I put her down for her morning nap (full of anxiety), and she cried for 30 seconds...and...fell asleep?!?! Second nap was even better- 5 seconds of crying and talked until she fell asleep.
I'm amazed. I knew it would work, but I had no idea it would go from 60 minutes to 30 seconds! I can't say I'm glad I let her cry it out, because I'm still regretting all the crying it produced. But I'm happy now. I now have some time to myself during the day! Thank you Marc Weisbluth and my mom!!

On another note, Jeff got his promotion, and it was more than we expected! And we made crockpot enchilada soup, and chicken stir fry this week. Very tasty!

52:19 Gwen you're 7 months old!

On May 8, you turned 7 months old! You are so much fun, and love to be around people!

You weigh about 21 lbs (wearing 12-18 month clothes!)

You can now sit up independently for a while, and can rock on your hands and knees a bit. You also enjoy doing the plank position.

You wear your sunglasses now, but refuse to smile while wearing them.

You have eaten these foods successfully: carrots, pears, peas, etc.

You now have your two bottom teeth!

You reach for, and put, everything in your mouth!

You love taking baths!

You cry when we put you down, because you love to see what's going on around you!

You have gone to sleep on your own the past two nights and sleep about 12 hours, but fight naps during the day (you take naps in the car a lit because its the only place you won't cry).

You have the prettiest, happiest smile.

52:18 My Little Roller

So Gwen has been rolling for a while now, and has started to lean forward and rock back and forth in her arms! Crawling is coming soon!

Grandma is in town this week!! What's more fun than that? She's like Disneyland, and Gwen is soaking it all up. I love when she's here so much!

There's a possibility we may be moving to Dallas this fall, and I'm excited, but also very nervous. I may not have to work, but I know no one, except his brother and sister in law, and a few other randoms that I don't know very well. All my close friends are in San Antonio or RI. Not sure how I'll cope with the move, but it'll be an adventure.

I had my first night away from her on Saturday! It was Shelley's wedding, and I had a blast, but as soon as we got back to the hotel, I got a bad cold! Instantly!! I was so disappointed, but at least the ceremony and reception was a success. Plus I met a possible new friend from Dallas!

Gwen turns 7 months old tomorrow! Update later!